I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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