i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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