why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
