i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
