nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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