Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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