i don't like sucking hair
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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