she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
