Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
