just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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