were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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