Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
