i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
