is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
