the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
