its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
