You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize