do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think your dad took our porno
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
