from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
