I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
