halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize