This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
