My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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