they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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