he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
