if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
