please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
