You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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