I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
