I wish I could teleport
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
