just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize