you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
