this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
