At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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