I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize