I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
