Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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