I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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