I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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