You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
