Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
