I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
