Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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