I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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