And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
