I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
whose parrot is this?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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