lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
