i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just pee around me
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
