Swine flu is the new snow day.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
