went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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