she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
