You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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