OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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