I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
