We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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