We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
