Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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