You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize