He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I came so hard my ears popped.
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