Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We have started to decorate penises.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
