He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
