babies were throwing up all over the place
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
