Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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