oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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