So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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